We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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