atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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