how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
