I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
