listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Small penises have feelings too.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
