My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Randomize
