he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
