id be glad to
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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