Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
