spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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