I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
