I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So vagazzling was a success
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
