Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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