id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The Olympian is in my bed
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