Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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