i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
