Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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