We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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