Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
