ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
