using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
