if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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