So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
