I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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