how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
