And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
