Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
