Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
