My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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