he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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