I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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