his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
