nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
