So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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