i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
