I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
