Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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