Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
