that's an acceptable place to lick
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
