Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Still dying that you shit outside
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
