Buhtt sex?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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