I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
