I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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