Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
