Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
