Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
