Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
