TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
