no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
did i walk over a car last night?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
