how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
my liver is dry heaving
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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