You can't special order awesome
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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