Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My balls are so social today.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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