Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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